Change Begins On The Inside: It’s ALL About You!

 Realize what POW-er you have and how to use it…

“Did you know that every time you talk about an unhealed wound or trauma, you re-activate it in your emotional, spiritual, and physical bodies? As you speak, or even think, about an old issue, you experience it as if it is happening right now. Since your subconscious mind does not know the difference between current experience and past memory, for all intents and purposes, the trauma or negative experience is happening now…emotions-frequency

Unfortunately, when an issue is re-activated, instead of using it as a healing opportunity, many of us react by pushing the wounds down with numbing substances like food, drugs, internet, Facebook, TV, and a long list of other distractions.

Unhealed issues get stored in the body, until we release them. The body obliges as a storehouse for emotional wounds but it does take its toll, especially if issues are accumulated for long periods of time. Storing wounds in the body eventually weakens the body and invites illness and disease, as well as causing depression…The good news is that the body is ready to release issues, the moment you are.

When an unhealed issue is re-activated, don’t just push it down – take the time to finally heal it. This means creating intentional space to [FEEL] your emotions and allow the issue to process through to Healing. Once you allow yourself to fully experience these emotions for the first time, without resistance, you will innately know what path to healing is right for you.

Wounds are meant to be healed. We are not meant to spend our lives carrying around past issues and hurts.…

Wounds want to be healed and issues want to be released, but you have the last say. None of this can happen until you are ready and willing.

You are meant to be free and clear of emotional burdens. You are meant to live a limitless life with an abundance of love and creativity. You are meant to stand on the mountain top with arms stretched wide – willing to receive your grandest dreams. The Universe is listening.” –Nanice Ellis, Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Do you desire emotional, spiritual, and physical wholeness? Do you remember your heart’s desires? Reply or email me and let’s talk.

Breathe

Just breathe

Yes, some days breathing is an exhausting exercise, although your breath is more than inhaling and exhaling air. Read how being fastidiously persnickety is my recipe for health, happiness, and wholeness.

http://booklocker.com/books/6235.htmlViews From My Chariot: A Wheelchair Oddity

http://booklocker.com/books/6811.htmlHOW TO BE THE BEST YOU

Stinkin’ Thinkin’

Okay people, disabled or able-bodied: everything changes with time.  Some of us are forced into a physical chrysalis before we’re psychologically ready. However, there should be a mental and spiritual evolution in everyone’s life.

Change is a constant. Right? IF NOT, this is what SEEMS to happen: people and things around us change. Nothing was like it was before. Life isn’t what you expected. Nothing makes sense! AND, nothing will improve or change…until your thinking changes.

Photo cat time changes shape

Learn a lesson from yellow tabby: life will be VERY uncomfortable if you keep trying to fit into past habits, habitats, and hobbies. It’s time to think out-of-the-box/basket.

 

Hurt Verses Pain

As I was peeling the dried, flakey skin from an onion, I thought of its similarities to our life experiences.

In adulthood, we tend to nonchalantly peel away and heedlessly disregard recurring emotional episodes. Because “it’s just the way things are,” they’re predictable (by us and those around us) and accepted as routine. Do we question why we, or they, repeatedly flake out? If a sliced onion regrew dehydrated skin overnight, wouldn’t you wonder?! And, if you think about it, it’s not until you pull off the silicone-like protective under skin and slice into the onion’s crisp flesh that its fresh juices flow…as do your tears.

Wake up and consciously seek the sources of “inflammatory” buttons. Sloughing “random emotions” require sloughing…and re-sloughing until the deep unconscious pains being triggered are remembered, loved, and transformed into wellness.

Photo Don't let problems go til they bless you Jacob wrestling the angel

Live in Color

“You’ve got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little,
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.—“The Glory of Love”

Until we get it down, sometimes love hurts. Sometimes, it causes heartbreak. But, it’s no reason to stop loving. Love expresses itself in a rainbow of colors. Remember: you’re a masterpiece in progress.

Painting your masterpiece can be messy. But, don’t be afraid of making errors—“coloring outside the lines.” Running paint, drip marks, and scattered splashes  have taken on a whole new expression lately. Express your individuality. Throw all the colorful experiences you can on your life canvas!

The fear of heart ache and the regret of not loving are equally devastating. It wastes a life, and fades your canvas, worse than having loved and lost.

At all risk, waste your love. Live out loud, in fantastic color!

AFFIRM: “Even when broken, I AM whole. My days are beautiful. I live a colorful, abundant life. I AM His loving, resplendent masterpiece.”

Earthing: Barefootin’s Benefits

Okay, spring is here. We may still have some temperature dips, but this is a Health Alert about going barefoot; not that it’s bad for you. This is an announcement that it’s good for you!

I remember the good ol’ days when it was acceptable to go barefoot. In fact, my shoes (and books) remained where they were flung after hopping off the school bus on my way to shimmy up a pear tree or climb to the top of the barn! Shoes were an encumbrance to my speed and a major impedance to my climbing skills. And as important: my feet needed to breathe!

The benefits of barefootin’ was the topic of this month’s newsletter, “Chariot Notes,” that went out this past Wednesday.  For those of you not on my mailing list, here’s a smattering…and then some.

Since the invention of plastics in the 60’s, there’s been an increase of inflammation-related health disorders. We moved from leather-soled shoes, and wooden floors, to synthetic-soled shoes, synthetic carpets, and linoleum, which left our bodies depleted of electrons! Our autoimmune systems have become compromised. “Earthing,” or walking barefoot, reduces oxidative stress.

The earth naturally carries a negative ionic charge, so when we are grounded with the earth, free radicals are neutralized in your body. It has been proven that negative ions not only detoxify and calm the body, but also reduce stress and inflammation.

A second benefit is reflexology. Because there are reflex points corresponding to every organ in the body on the soles of our feet, barefooting offers a free reflexology session…helping to relieve what ails ya’. If there’s initial tenderness, it will subside as your body adjusts.

In addition, going barefoot offers a dual reprieve from a fast-paced lifestyle. First, you’re out-and-away from business, taking an opportunity to unwind. At the same time, you must be present, giving attention to where you step, living in the moment. And, research has proven a 62% decrease in anxiety and depression, increasing those feel-good endorphins. Simply quieting the mental chatter relaxes the mind, body, and spirit.

Whether walking in the grass, on the bare earth, or in the sand, connect with Mother Nature, and her Creator. Feel the warm sunshine on your face. Smell the flowers. Listen to the wind in the trees, and the bird’s enchanting songs. How wondrous are our senses!

Even now, I go barefoot from April through October. Maybe I can’t pound the earth with my feet, but I can prop them up on rocks, or tree roots, while I tune in to earth’s harmony and commune with my Father. Sometimes, I even extend my legs and slide down in my chair just to feel the cool grass under my toes.

Remember, I’m from Tennessee. You can take the country bumpkin out of Tennessee, but you can’t take the country bumpkin-ness out of this Tennessean. (To read about my superintendent reprimanding me for going barefoot in the “My Daisy Dukes” chapter of Views From My Chariot, you can order it here http://booklocker.com/books/6235.html or off Amazon.com.

So today, for your health and happiness, I’m suggesting a barefoot stroll. Be rejuvenated!

 

 

Enlightened Mind Thoughts

We know ourselves only to the extent of our mind and spirit’s enlightenment. Tragically, most of us have no idea that we are triune beings—mind, body, and spirit or soul. Especially those of us living with a disability, when our body has taken a leave of absence. It’s an automatic separation of body and mind. As a result, we exalt the mind.

As the saying goes, “Give an inch; take a mile,” the mind begins its domination over the body and soul with its analyzing, judgements, and control tactics, sabotaging peaceful resolve with its endless mental commentary about everyone and everything.

Insinuating that its analytics are supreme, the mind stealthily convinces you to believe your thoughts, good or bad, about self-worth and behavior. It rationalizes and excuses guileful motivations, unkind words, and hateful actions because we haven’t dealt with our feelings; and at worst, we’re convinced our behaviors are deserved retribution for other’s perceived wrongs.

The mind’s battle rages, further maiming our lives by confusion, fear, doubt, and concurrent physical maladies.

Deceived, we think that these thoughts are true. In truth, they are mere thoughts, often misguided and out-of-control. If the premise of “What Women Want” were true, we would all be committed or imprisoned by our thought life! Here are three truths concerning your thoughts:

The first is that you are not your thinking.

Your thoughts try to supervise, manage, regulate, and make sense of your environment. Many poor decisions are reached through subliminal thinking, meaning: we’re oblivious to the process of our thought streams. They’re rabbit trails!

When we attempt considering the pros and cons of our options, we have no idea how we reached the destination of decision. In hindsight, have you ever been perplexed by how you arrived at a particular conclusion?

The second truth is that you can delete, rewrite, copy and paste your thoughts.

The mind should be subservient to the spirit. Don’t allow your mind to use you. Use your mind for developing constructive thought patterns. Practice visualization to uplift your spirit, and meditation and prayer to bring rest and health to your body. http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/09/14/soul-soaring-n…elchair-needed/   ‎

The third truth, as I see it, is that the spirit does not die. It lives on after our physical body expires.

Your deeper spiritual self should tutor your mind, not vice versa. Make time each day to turn off the TV, Twitter, Facebook, your Blackberry. Still your mind. Get in touch with your higher consciousness–your spirit. Breathe in peace. Breathe out stress. Let it go.

Alzheimer’s and dementia are evidence that mind over matter isn’t always the path to enlightenment. Like the rest of us, they’re created in the image of God, yet their mind is gone.

You are NOT your mind. You are bigger than your thinking. Quiet your mind’s incessant chatter. Let your spirit claim its role to rule.

For some light-hearted humor about my thoughts trying to railroad my thinking, read http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/07/12/disabled-or-enabled-thoughts/

For more on how to change negative thought patterns, you can PURCHASE my book, HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU, HERE http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html.

I’m open for reviews!

Life Is: But A Prayer

Despite life’s uncertainties and living with a disability, I believe our lives are but a prayer.

What is prayer? An address or petition in words, thoughts, emotions, or actions, to God or a god, person or thing for help and/or enlightenment, of praise and/or thanksgiving.

For as long as I can remember, within me has been a deep knowing that God is there. He is my Father, and Friend. Even in the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual battles living with a disability, I know ALL is well with my soul. It’s not up for debate. It’s a foregone conclusion. It’s the truth. Period. All I have to do is be still, be quite, and b-r-e-a-t-h-e.  It’s so simple to pause, yet so difficult to stop thinking, worrying, emoting, and imagining.

Like I told you in my last week’s article, I’m in a bout with the herpes zoster virus: shingles. Before the blisters appeared, I ignored the early “electric nerve tingling” symptoms; they’re typical in living with SCI.

The shingles diagnosis was a shocking surprise for me because my mother had told me that I never had chicken pox. Well, obviously, the truth is: I never evidenced symptoms of chicken pox, but the virus took up residence anyway!

From reading my books, you know what I believe and where I dwell, despite the battle. Shingles is a physically painful and mentally challenging battle.

My eyes behold the inflamed skin encircling scattered islands of blisters. My body’s tactile sensitivity to the viral nerve attack keeps me mindful during the day and awakens me in the night. So, how do I respond?

Just as the confused house wren awakens me at 3:55 and 4:15 many mornings, I have succumbed to the confusing ifs: What if the virus lives on? If it hasn’t died, will it present its venomous head again?

I don’t like to think these thoughts anymore than you do. But, I take security in knowing that they’re merely thoughts.

Thoughts aren’t necessarily prophetic—thinking them will not make them come about.They’re not the truth—thinking them doesn’t make them real.

I can hear my thoughts, but I don’t have to listen to them. I filter my thoughts by weighing their motivation. If they’re beneficial, creative, and productive, I give them power by indulging their possibilities. If not, they get deleted…every time they try to put fear in my heart. As you know, some thoughts are very persistent! (I dedicated one section of my book HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html on how to change unwanted though patterns.)

The other morning when my faithful little wren woke me, I was instantly made aware of the shooting nerve fire down my leg. Simultaneously, I was distracted by what I thought the wren was saying. As clear as any chirp ever was, it said, “You feel the pain. You feel the pain. You feel the pain.”

I certainly could—feel the pain, and I gratefully thanked God.

Sometimes, we have to accept the good along with the bad. That’s life. Whether it’s living with a disability or dealing with life’s curve balls, no one is exempt. The important thing is where we put the emphasis.

Practice makes perfect.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

 

Let this be your daily exercise:

“That which God said to the rose, and caused it to laugh in full-blown beauty, He said to my heart, and made it a hundred times more beautiful.”~Rumi

What joys have you gained by opening your heart, by being hopeful, truthful, and in the moment–forsaking cynicism, hypocrisy, and fear?

Love’s Concessions

We’re all aware of the necessity for clear communication, but how many of us realize the importance of give-and-take or compromise to occur for relationships to flourish and thrive?

Each category of disability suffers a specific physiological loss in its communicative efficiency, e.g., deafness and lack of verbal speech. But universally, the abled-bodied and disabled alike, suffer a greater and more divisive element in communication: the mental and emotional disconnect of misunderstanding, conflict, and discord. For clarification, indulge me for a couple of definitions.

In civil or corporate cases, lawyers, a judge or a judge and jury serve as judiciary arbiters because a compromise—an agreement for both sides to give up something to improve a situation—couldn’t be agreed upon out of court.

Because the powers that be could not reach mutual concessions for peace in times of war, an unbiased mediator is required for a successful compromise—to find an intermediate concession. Even on a world level, The United Nations was created as an international forum to develop positive relationships, promote peace and security, and establish cooperation in solving problems around the world.

Without saying, there is a great divide on the worldwide humanitarian level with societal differences. Mediation is critical for peace. I’m honing in on our individual responsibility for compromise to maintain peace in our romantic, caregiver, and life-long relationships.

Too many of us think that the endorphin overdrive we feel when romantically drawn to someone IS love. They’re neurotransmitters. Period. If they were resultant from true love, we would live in Utopia.

While we flippantly disregard the saying, “You can’t live on love alone.” it silently heralds the importance of commitment, communication, and trust. I believe that the cornerstone for any “normal” partnership or relationship (disabled or not) is commitment; but without the mortar of communication and trust, they crumble in misunderstandings and conflict.

A relationship without these is like the Pacman game; day-to-day realities (Pacman) consume the endorphin-producing emotions, especially for spousal or significant other (SO) carer collaborations. They’re REALLY hard. When life happens, we believe we’ve fallen out of love. When in truth, we never were. It was an endorphin-induced high. We came down.            

All relationships run into difficulties, but when a spouse takes on the role of caregiver for the disabled other, it can be stress and hurt 24/7…if without compromise. Instead of idolizing the notion of what love is—longing glances, stomach butterflies, endorphin highs—then hurling blame, judgement, and criticism at each other when its intoxicating vapor evaporates, focus on character and integrity.

How does your significant other deal with conflict; with wisdom and understanding or with anger and criticism?

How do they solve problems; with a hopeful heart and hearing ears or with denial and finger-pointing?

Are they fair, kind, and honest or irresponsible and combative?

When things get tough, love is having each others’ back.

If your relationship is characterized by frequent conflicts, and you are disrespected by your significant other, give them time and the freedom to grow, just not at your emotional expense. If quarrels and resentments characterize your partnership as the 24/7 caregiver of your spouse or SO, enlist help. If not, these can develop into debilitating co-dependent dynamics, unhealthy for both.

If you are the one who doesn’t want to give to or make compromises in your relationship, at least give them the truth. Own it. Be an adult.

Even after heart-safe trust is an earned harbor, when you know a truth is necessary, but it will be hard to receive, wait until you can speak it genuinely, in love; never off the tongue rashly, sarcastically or concealed behind humor. That’s unloving, deceitful, and a stab in the back.

Instead of the give-and-take or compromise in love, I think it’s the give-and-get of love. Remember my article, “Beware: Karma—BANG! BANG! DUCK! http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2013/03/15/be-aware-of-ka…bang-bang-duck/ . What you give, you get in return; hopefully, it’s respect, consideration, kindness, dependability, patience, forgiveness, an available shoulder, a sympathetic ear.

Upon further consideration, if there is anything to take, how about your dishes to the kitchen, the garbage to the curb, and the dog for a walk.

I want you to be the best you! http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU-from A to Z

P.S. Here http://personalitycafe.com/articles/112444-five-love-languages-explained.html you will find a synopsis of Gary D. Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, an eye-opening explanation of how we give and interpret love. A revelatory read!