self-improvement – Page 3 – Conversations with Cynthia

December 26, 2014December 27, 2014

Thoughts of Change

Recently, my sister posed the question: “What brings you alive?” which made me think:

Before my chariot, discovery was my high. It was one of adventure’s draws: exploring hidden paths, and back roads; climbing trees, rooftops, and to the top of a mast; lying upon the earth pondering the heavens; studying world maps. But, after considering her question, I don’t think that what enervates me has really changed. It used to be by physical dexterity; now, it’s through imagination and thinking skills.

I come alive when faced with a quandary—a need to “discover” a solution. I light up with each “aha:” a new idea…thinking outside of the box.

Whether faced with a barrier (or, simply, figuring out how to safely clean up shattered glass from a dropped bowl), writing, decorating, repurposing, for myself and others…whatever, I come alive when faced with a problem. That’s adventure! J

For this upcoming New Year of 2015, join with me in discovering contentment. YES! Contentment.

Happiness is an inside job. It’s a bi-product of fulfillment, and fulfillment is in your hands. Not in your spouse, your children, your youth…job…achievement…but in the realization that you are the current to “aliveness,” your life rhythm.

The body’s melody is reflective of its thoughts, whose frequency determines its health. You’re the note determining the duration (endurance) and pitch (atmospheric attitude) of events for the beat of your life.

Maybe music isn’t your language. Does gardening speak to you? What have you cultivated? Paradise lost or paradise found?
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Weeds of discontent require pulling. Floods of self-indulgence need irrigating. The infested, stagnant pool of unforgiveness needs unclogging.

Refresh gloomy thoughts with winds of change!

“Mindfully,” choose life!

HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU is my book on ‘how-to’ rediscover your heart and change your stinkin’ thinkin’ in order to find happiness. It’s an elementary outline to simplify needful changes. You can order it off amazon or here: http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html

December 21, 2014December 26, 2014

A New Song

This video made me think of how God uses, and orchestrates, various situations in our lives to bring out a unique melody, as with this carrot: https://www.facebook.com/lesliedeshane.artist/posts/10205140898381427

Methinks:

“Shredding” outer layers can be uncomfortable, but necessary, to reshape our direction.

Removing mental and physical “blocks” gets us unstuck to channel winds of change; although, sometimes, doesn’t it feel like getting drilled at both ends?!

When we allow and embrace change, it “opens” windows of opportunity. No fear. The unknown is usually less painful than our trepidation of it).

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Then, in His hands and by His orchestration of “key” events, we resound with song. Our lives are renewed!

“He put a new song in my mouth, praise to our God! Many will watch and be in awe, and they will place their trust in the LORD.” Psalm 40:3 (ISV)

With each new day, declare His faithfulness…

PROFESS: “I AM an instrument of praise. My life will exalt Him. My lips will praise Them. I AM a blessing to man and Earth. I CHOOSE His change in all that I am.”

November 21, 2014November 21, 2014

God’s Glasses

Research has proven that the brain sends emotional “data” to the heart, not vice-versa. You can also bet your chips that the heart is the seat of attitude. As adults, we’ve learned to camouflage these “attitudes,” but the expression on a child’s face is a ready give-away of theirs.

I’ve watched children lie with a straight face, and even toddlers (with undeveloped verbal language) expressively shake their head ‘no’ in answer to a who-dune-it inquiry. It made me wonder: “How did he/she comprehend such an abstract maneuver to deflect blame, to avoid punishment?! Obviously, it doesn’t take practice; in a split second, we make this truth-or-consequence choice to fess-up and face it, or to lie and live in limbo.

By facing the truth, we choose to walk in the light. By lying, we’re forced into hiding. Deception casts a shadow of fear (of being found out), and its guilt pierces our heart. Guilt holds us back from spontaneous walks in the Son, worship, and prayer.

Yes: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)

Yes: we will find ourselves guilty of many deceptions before we meet our Maker.

Yes: we will shy away from communion because of our sin.
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Although all of the above are true, we should not sin! But thankfully, our God is an awesome God and sees us through the red-tinted glasses of redemptive blood. I quote Jim Croft’s perspective on this:

“In my estimation, one of the most encouraging passages that affirms answers to prayer is 1 John 3:16-23. It reveals that the condemnation of heart that prevents people from confidently making prayer requests in faith of positive outcome is overruled by God himself. The inference is that if our hearts condemn us, that God is greater than our hearts. His magnanimity of heart overrules and nullifies any condemnation within our hearts so that we can pray with full expectation of reward. The qualifier for this is not obedience to an endless list of biblical and self-inflicted religious regulations. All that we need do is believe on the name of Jesus and love our fellow Christians. You know in your inmost knower that you consistently meet that qualification in all circumstance. God is greater than your heart and invites you to pray for whatsoever you desire with expectant faith.”

Amen.

AFFIRM: “O Lord, Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (Psalm 119:105 NAS) By Your Word, I am redeemed. I am forgiven. I AM blessed. I choose the path of Truth.”

November 14, 2014November 14, 2014

Ambassador of Peace

If you’re alive, you’ve heard or read Mahatma Gandhi’s quote: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” BUT, there’s an unwritten pre-requisite: discard expectations!

A belief of something, good or bad, that will or will not happen in the future is an “expectation.”

Expectations are mental! Yes, I mean it in the worst way. They’re not fact. In fact, they’re fiction, like the plot in a novel. Compare these 5 elements of a plot to one of your expectations: a story of characters; a series of events that build up to a conflict; resultant emotions, tension, and stress; the resolve of complications; and, their tragic or happy conclusion.

If a hoped-for expectation isn’t realized, disappointment results. How is disappointment normally expressed? In children, we see sulky silence or spiteful retaliation. We also see it with adults, along with character assassination and, maybe, an all-out feud.

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If a negative expectation is met, it’s usually interpreted as personal rejection or even an assault. Again, disappointment, evidenced by silence, isolation, and/or retaliation.

Let’s be the change. Let’s discard–delete–expectations of others. Like Gandhi, we can be ambassadors of peace! (a holiday reminder)

October 25, 2014October 26, 2014

Let’s Look and See

Sometimes our rose-colored glasses, plugged ears, and closed minds skew truth. A skewed truth I just learned in Nick Ham’s book, BOOK I, is that Noah DID NOT take only two of each animal, bird, etc. into the ark! It’s a half-truth. (Check out Genesis 7)

This made me wonder: “Why don’t we question?” Even when it’s before our eyes, we read it—unseeing. Are we blind lambs to be led astray?!

Truly I say unto you: just because you’ve heard something from the pulpit, seen it depicted in your child’s Bible and portrayed in art, doesn’t make it fact?

Get this: I made myself believe a stray white cat, I saw twice IN MY HOUSE, was my gray Persian! It had invited itself in when I left the kitchen door open. It was in overnight. (I couldn’t believe there hadn’t been a fight!)

The thing is: the signs were there. Ciati’s food kept disappearing w-a-y before it usually did and, once, “she” ran when she saw me.

After it bolted the next morning, I replayed, recalled, the visuals in my mind’s eye. It wasn’t until then that I “saw” a white cat, not a gray one!

Like “Ethos Bright Eyes Products” (EBEP—eye drops used to dissolve cataracts), we could use some “brain drops” for mental clarity! Wouldn’t that be KEEN? J

Manipulation through brain-washing techniques is a much used concept in fiction. Whether it’s by a shrewd inner circle (Pleasantville), or a diabolical invisible entity (Predator), there’s always a hidden agenda for some level of deception or total annihilation. Remember Hitler? In truth, there are many conspiring to lead us astray.

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Don’t you wonder about things?

NOW is the time to: Question. Inquire. Research!

There are times that I eschew, intentionally avoid, confrontation. I don’t want to rattle the status quo. Sometimes I, too, simply swallow other’s information…without chewing. There’s a clue! “Chewing” begins the breakdown of food. If there’s a hair, some gristle, a piece of bone, we find it and can spit it out.

THINKING is the same. If we mentally and, hopefully, intuitively break down—decipher—deception, we can prepare for, combat, maybe PREVENT its consequences. Well, those faceless, powerful magnates, moguls, and monopolies behind the news media, the internet, TV, and our reading materials have an agenda.

Our times are a-changing. How about making change with me! Let’s open the windows of our minds. Let’s actively invest in our news-feeds and news casts. Don’t swallow everything hook line and sinker or, you will.

Either we lose a-gain, or we gain wisdom. Let’s look, and see. Our lives may depend on it.

September 4, 2014

Choice or Chance?

What woulda’ been, coulda’ been, isn’t what is. It’s useless. It’s defeatist.

Thoughts come, and they go. Which ones we listen to, entertain with imaginings, or believe is, way too often, a conscious choice we make subconsciously…because we’re not “listening” to our thoughts! (For how to take your thoughts captive, you can purchase HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU here http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html.)

Thoughts are deviously coercive.

“coerce: to restrain or dominate by force; to compel to an act or choice; to achieve by force or threat.” (merriam-webster.com) Hmmm.

Do your thoughts “restrain” you with reluctance and procrastination? Do they “compel” you with competition and impulsivity? Or, do they “threaten” you with fear or envy?

What thoughts are dictating your actions?
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Which actions determine your choices?

Be proactive. Choose with a joyful, faith-filled heart.

Today is a new day!

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23m (ESV)

July 25, 2014

Heart Renovation

My sister, Candace, had to make the humane decision to euthanize her canine soul mate, Ella, a while back. (And, more recently, Moses from FeLV complications.)

Of course, I’d been privy to Ella’s mental decline and health issues, and had prayed as if her furry children were mine.

On that day, Candace had stopped in to drop off some plants, and to water some of my thirsty others. But, before picking up last-hope medications from her vet, she went home to check on Ella. As she left, I wondered what condition she would find Ella.

Within a couple of hours, I received the call, and her Facebook posting, that Ella had gone to her Creator.

As I was crying for her, her lose, her heart ache, my thoughts went back to my own loss: over a year ago, I had to make that decision for my almost 22-year-old feline soul mate, Cĭātĭ. I had cried and talked to Cĭātĭ about its inevitability for over 6 months.

Aside from Candace and Madeleine, I didn’t tell anyone. I grieved alone and cried in private. But, as I read her FB friend’s condolences, I became more aware of a room needing expansion—my heart—again. It seems that the more walls I break down, the more light is cast on where else I have “room to grow.”

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If you’ve read my books, are a follower of my daily Facebook “Cyndex”es, or my weekly blog “Conversationswithcynthia,” you’re aware that I share the gleanings from my life choices. Some are wise. Some, witty; others woeful. Hopefully, they’ll prevent you from taking the same wrong turns. Here’s another:

Wearing an open heart is a two-edged sword. Yes, you will feel the thorns, but you won’t bleed alone. Don’t suffer in silence! Express your emotional vulnerability.

Not expressing emotions isn’t strong, admirable, or healthy. It comes from a misinformed belief—habit of mind—that emotions are senseless, that you’re unimportant, an inconvenience, or an accident…maybe, from shame.

I’m still learning to trust others, to share my heart hurts. I’m also learning that being vulnerable is a reciprocal blessing: it allows others to share the stab of pathos, and blesses you to know they care. It’s heart-enlarging.

Does yours need expansion?

June 13, 2014June 13, 2014

Think Healthy Thoughts

For me, minoring in psychology was like a baby rocking on its stomach to strengthen its back muscles to walk. It was my foundation for counseling, something I see as strengthening others (myself included) to “walk” into wholeness. Becoming a certified counselor through Elijah House gave me the tools for transformation—visualization, going back to childhood (even back to the womb) to discover root problems, in order to make changes in the present.

BUT, the eyes can’t see what the heart can’t hear. I wasn’t totally there. Gracious Holy Spirit continued to illumine my darkness.

A few years after my certification, I read Dr. Thomas Verny’s book, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child. Epiphanies sparked. This was after I had released the hope of motherhood. Previously, I had re-married to have children. At forty, there was a trauma that caused premature menopause.

God chose to stubble burn that field, and replant. Then, my mind was fertile to conceive God’s idea for my healing. Dr. Verny gave me a vocabulary for my, until then, unconscious perceptions.

You know that I don’t apologize for my unconventional avenues in seeking God and wholeness. So, anything I say that ruffles your spiritual beliefs, just place them on a shelf for future reference. This has been my habit for years. Time and again, I take to blowing dust off a few. This is one of those:

With my permission, a counselor took a walk through my spirit. (He is the only person I know gifted in doing this!) It’s sort of like a guided tour. Holy Spirit showed him what I needed to know about my spirit and heart, at that time.

There are some things he saw that I still don’t understand. But, one thing he saw, or didn’t see, has been the path of God’s breadcrumbs. He couldn’t find my heart. Nope. He couldn’t find it. That was around fifteen years ago.

Thus far, there’s been a lot of demolition. I had locked my heart behind so many doors with fortified walls that even I couldn’t find it. That’s why I said Dr. Verny gave me a vocabulary for my…“unconscious perceptions:” beliefs I formed from my mother’s thoughts, insecurities, and fears…while I was in her womb.

Know that your thoughts create your reality. Their energy draws the experiences to you.

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If you’re scratching your head, if this sounds “far-out,” Karol K. Truman’s Feelings BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE…is the “TREK” for you. It’s a book illumining why feelings trigger our choices and behavior, moment to moment, day to day, year after year.

The first step is grasping your diagnosis of unconsciousness. Severity varies from person to person. A lifetime of unawareness, suppression, and denial affects us all, as does a closed heart.

When writing HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html , it was through the veil of my, then, present consciousness. Ever’ so often, I pick it up to reference something I’ve forgotten. Only a year after publishing it, I’m amazed at where I was headed—to my present consciousness, light years away from then. Before the above books, I think it can offer you a place to start.

The good news: You don’t have to wonder why you don’t see the forest for the trees, just look for green. You’ll find your path. Remember: green is the color for new beginnings, life, and love.

Bamboo can grow ninety-eight inches in 24 hours! God is a God of miracles.

AFFIRM: “God of creation, Your Divine plan in my life is speeded up under grace.”

“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.” Proverbs 25:2 (NAS)

May 16, 2014May 16, 2014

Love Is Energy

I keep harping on the importance of thoughts; reason being that research varies about mental processing for “advertising message retention.”

To positively influence the purchase of a brand/product (in my case, an idea, a thought) some say that “viewers” will forget a message unless it’s often (up to 20 times) repeated.

So, I’m “reiterating” for your health: love. Let judgment go! Holding on to past offenses wrecks havoc on mental AND physical health.

While innocently going about your daily routine, is it not rude for the memory of another’s past action, word, or “imagined offense” to menacingly pop up on your mental screen?! How dare your thoughts! But really, it’s a heart thing.

Out walking, a group of monks were practicing monastic silence, and mindfulness—being aware. Approaching a muddy watery bridge, they came upon a young woman dressed in a kimono, hesitant to cross over. So, one of the monks picked her up and carried her across.

Four hours later, one of the other monks broke his silence with, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“What?” asked the monk.
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“You know we’re not to touch women.”

“Are you still carrying her? I put her down 4 hours ago.”

By dwelling in the past for 4 hours, mentally ruminating the compassionate monk’s action, the judgmental monk not only sacrificed his peace and joy, but also the afforded delights along the way.

AFFIRM: “I am a conduit of forgiveness. My gift is love.”

May 2, 2014May 2, 2014

Be A Friend to Yourself

Did you know that in fetal development the heart forms and starts beating BEFORE the brain is developed?

And, did you know that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart? Hmmm.

If you’re wound tight trying to stay in control of minutia, pause, close your eyes, take a long deep breath, and slowly exhale. Listen for and feel your heart.

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Say, “Thank you.”