Tag: hope

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Somewhere Over The Rainbow…Dreams Come True

Remember learning the letters of the alphabet and theirs sounds; then, by fusing these phonetic values together, syllables magically made words, and a wondrous world of communication unfolded.

Like learning to read, the practice of listening to God, teaches us to discern the intent and meaning of His communications with us. So to my way of thinking, He gave us Jesus, Whose birth we celebrate his season, as an intimate Love note: His heart’s desire and longing to spend every moment, and eternity, with us. As a promissory note, He painted the rainbow in its spectacular colors.

Newton divided its spectrum into seven main colors—red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. He chose seven “by analogy to the number of notes in a musical scale.” (Wikipedia.org) Additionally, I see it as understanding another spiritual dimension of ourselves, as in a mirror, because a rainbow’s colors reflect ours. (I’ll expound on this in my upcoming series “Journey to Wholeness” beginning January 3, 2014!)

In reference to one of my favorite songs, my Christmas wish is that all your dreams do come true! To stimulate thoughts of what your dreams may be, here’s a composite of His wondrous Self-expression, tracked to “Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World” by Isreal Kamakawiwo’ on Ukulele. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hvCCmnzIY

(If there’s a green, or black, screen on your browser when you click this link, use Google Chrome to view.)

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Do You Know…

Have you ever felt like life was out of your control? Do you feel alone, forgotten, robbed of purpose and worth? Don’t fall for it! It’s far from the truth.

Beneath His wings
Beneath His wings

Sometimes, circumstances scream “Powerless!” at us. If you believe it, you are. If you don’t, herein lies your true power.

Remember the Christmas classic, “It’s A Wonderful Life?” George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) is a frustrated businessman with compromised dreams from personal sacrifices. Finding himself in a desperate financial strait, thoughts of his unworthiness, thoughts that he should have never been born, drive him to consider suicide. Then his guardian angel, Clarence, shows him how his nonexistence would have negatively affected the residents of Bedford Falls. This movie is a vivid reminder of the malevolence of self-doubt.

We can all suffer from its destructive, indoctrinating effects IF we listen to its lies, which brings me to “What The Bleep Do You Know!?” www.whatthebleep.com  (Bookmark this to watch when you’re seriously ready for an awakening.)

It’s part documentary, part story, and part visual effects illustrating how science and religion merge, explaining the interconnectedness of all things.

As Amanda’s (Academy award winner Marlee Matlin, also living with a disability: deafness) uninspired life unravels from relationship woes, she’s thrown into a revelatory wormhole challenging her thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions. Her epiphany is that she is the master of her thoughts, actions, and destiny.  http://www.whatthebleep.com/bleep/synopsis/

It’s true you’re human, living an earthly existence, ‘tthough you needn’t succumb to its rule over you. Challenge the status quo. Rise above those fatalistic thoughts concerning circumstances you’re finding difficult…and your abilities to rise above them. All things are possible.

There are times that I, too, feel forgotten. That’s when a hug is required. That’s exactly what I said one day. I shared the following experience in my memoir, Views From My Chariot: A Wheelchair Oddity )
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“God, I need a hug.

I heard, “Come outside.”

It was a sunny, early fall morning. My home is wrapped with woods on three sides, and there was stillness all around, a palpable quietness. Silhouetted trees and dappled sunlight highlighted the blanket of fallen autumn leaves. I took in a deep breath of tranquility. Instantly, I heard rustlings to my right.

I looked over and up to see the top of a lone tree begin a dervish whirl, waving its branches and clapping its leaves off in twirling descents. For the longest time, I beheld the dance. Then I closed my eyes and joined in until the song was over. It was better than a hug.

You know, you can remain as you are or you can lift yourself up and out. You can rise above any challenging circumstance with your attitude and confession. You are the creative force in your life.

You’re special. You’re one of-a-kind, unique as your fingerprint. God intimately fashioned you in His image, with the same creative power as Himself.

Do you know that He knows your name? When is the last time you called on His?

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SCI and The Law of Possibility

At one time or another, most of us have used a crutch or have used something as a ‘crutch.’ Whether as a prop or for support, I think when our lives are newly interrupted by disability, denial is as good a crutch as a crutch.

In the beginning—the first ten years—I used it (denial) to my advantage. I wasn’t going to be in a wheelchair the rest of my life and tried to live as if I were still able-bodied; but, obviously, needed help because of my disability. Others telling me how I inspired them wasn’t a help. My wake-up call, out of denial’s slumber, was realizing my pride and stubbornness.

Yes, I charged back into work, and being independent, but I look back at the foolishness of thinking I was more capable than I was, putting myself, and others, at risk.

There were several falls: a back flip off the toilet, a nose-plant onto my pantry floor, a “…tilt me over and pour me out” in my carport, and a semi-twirl off my back porch. The law of universal gravitation is especially cruel to those of us with effected muscular function/responses. Dead weight falls hard. Why hasn’t someone invented an ‘Iron Man’-like rocket boost for wheelchairs?

Anyway, the most dangerous denial was ignoring signs of autonomic dysreflexia (also known as hyperreflexia). http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/automatic.html

Autonomic dysreflexia in the SCI has numerous stimuli but most commonly results from an extended bladder or UTI (urinary tract infection), over-exposure in hot weather, constipation, and pain. I would ignore symptoms until a rocketing blood pressure-induced migraine escalated into distorted s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n speech, always requiring emergency assistance. If not treated, stroke, coma, and death can result.

Time, experience, and gained confidence work out the need for ‘crutches,’ but facing the truth on the wings of hope deals with denial.

Whether we improve physically or not, emotionally we can get better, day by day. If you lean on a crutch in the transition, that’s okay. If you’re honestly seeking to fit the puzzle pieces together for adjustment, this fellow SCI even recommends it. A little propping up, a little assistive support, goes a long way on the flight of optimism.
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After all these years, those initial ailments have either changed or improved. More importantly, I’ve become wiser dealing with new ones.

I’ve learned: that opportunities are peeking out from under every weight of limitation, and that some things are “in our head:” Possibilities.

“The Law of Possibility:” the unaffected space of weightlessness in the aerodynamic mind where possibilities abound, and gravity has no influence!

 

 

 

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Enlightened Mind Thoughts

We know ourselves only to the extent of our mind and spirit’s enlightenment. Tragically, most of us have no idea that we are triune beings—mind, body, and spirit or soul. Especially those of us living with a disability, when our body has taken a leave of absence. It’s an automatic separation of body and mind. As a result, we exalt the mind.

As the saying goes, “Give an inch; take a mile,” the mind begins its domination over the body and soul with its analyzing, judgements, and control tactics, sabotaging peaceful resolve with its endless mental commentary about everyone and everything.

Insinuating that its analytics are supreme, the mind stealthily convinces you to believe your thoughts, good or bad, about self-worth and behavior. It rationalizes and excuses guileful motivations, unkind words, and hateful actions because we haven’t dealt with our feelings; and at worst, we’re convinced our behaviors are deserved retribution for other’s perceived wrongs.

The mind’s battle rages, further maiming our lives by confusion, fear, doubt, and concurrent physical maladies.

Deceived, we think that these thoughts are true. In truth, they are mere thoughts, often misguided and out-of-control. If the premise of “What Women Want” were true, we would all be committed or imprisoned by our thought life! Here are three truths concerning your thoughts:

The first is that you are not your thinking.

Your thoughts try to supervise, manage, regulate, and make sense of your environment. Many poor decisions are reached through subliminal thinking, meaning: we’re oblivious to the process of our thought streams. They’re rabbit trails!

When we attempt considering the pros and cons of our options, we have no idea how we reached the destination of decision. In hindsight, have you ever been perplexed by how you arrived at a particular conclusion?

The second truth is that you can delete, rewrite, copy and paste your thoughts.

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The mind should be subservient to the spirit. Don’t allow your mind to use you. Use your mind for developing constructive thought patterns. Practice visualization to uplift your spirit, and meditation and prayer to bring rest and health to your body. http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/09/14/soul-soaring-n…elchair-needed/   ‎

The third truth, as I see it, is that the spirit does not die. It lives on after our physical body expires.

Your deeper spiritual self should tutor your mind, not vice versa. Make time each day to turn off the TV, Twitter, Facebook, your Blackberry. Still your mind. Get in touch with your higher consciousness–your spirit. Breathe in peace. Breathe out stress. Let it go.

Alzheimer’s and dementia are evidence that mind over matter isn’t always the path to enlightenment. Like the rest of us, they’re created in the image of God, yet their mind is gone.

You are NOT your mind. You are bigger than your thinking. Quiet your mind’s incessant chatter. Let your spirit claim its role to rule.

For some light-hearted humor about my thoughts trying to railroad my thinking, read http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/07/12/disabled-or-enabled-thoughts/

For more on how to change negative thought patterns, you can PURCHASE my book, HOW TO BE THE BEST YOU, HERE http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html.

I’m open for reviews!

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WOEISME! Shingles!

Let me say it again, WOE IS ME!

I’m sure you noticed that last Friday’s post was a lonely quote. Let me explain:

On the previous Monday, I began experiencing a dull pressure on the inside of my left knee. Tuesday, there was swelling, and the dull pressure increased to sharp intermittent pains. Assuming it to be SCI-related nerve firings but wanting to be safe, I called to report it to my doctor. His nurse informed me that their computers were down, but she would give him my message.

He called Wednesday urging me to go to the emergency room without delay. He called in orders for a bilateral venous ultrasound to rule out the possibility of a deep blood clot. Meanwhile, the sharp pains had turned into intermittent shocks of fire and progressed up my thigh and down my knee–unlike SCI nerve pain. Also, there were two angry patches, one on the top of my knee and the other on the inside of my upper thigh, near a recent cat scratch. Hmmm.

Upon admittance, I reiterated my growing symptoms and pointed out the curious rash. Seeming to have plugs in their ears, the nurses made notes and the technicians rotely performed the ultrasound (thankfully, no blood clot), wrote out a prescription for pain/inflammation, and dismissed me. In my typical fashion, I didn’t fill the prescription.

After a miserable night, I went to First Care, a privately owned emergency medical facility. Although my left leg was now  numb, it hurt to the touch, and there were two more big red patches—like separated twins—one on either side of my knee, then a third one on my left calf.

This time, the doctor listened, joked, examined, and re-examined my cat scratches. His diagnosis: cat scratch fever.  He wrote out a prescription for an antibiotic and topical ointment.

Finally! I felt like this doctor knew what he was talking about. I took a couple of Bufferin for the pain, confident that the antibiotic would kick in within 24 to 36 hours. It was Thursday afternoon.

By Saturday, the intermittent burning shocks ran down both sides of my knee and on down behind my ankle. The patches had multiplied with painful blister-like eruptions inside the angry inflammations, and I stopped the prescribed ointment because it heightened the pain! I had to keep my skirt hem off my left leg. Due to a new symptom of back pain, I was propped up in bed by 5:00 p.m.

My sister came over, took pictures on her iPhone, and sent them to her sister-in-law, now on ER doctor. She thought it looked like shingles. After one more round of emailing pictures to a doctor specializing in shingles, it was confirmed: shingles!

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At 11:00 p.m. and at my protest, my sister picked up four written prescriptions—an anti-viral, an anti-inflammatory, a pain pill for viral pain, and another pain pill. Again, they’re unfilled.

I was past the “72 hours after the rash appears” for the vaccine and some medications, so I chose a natural approach. I’M NOT RECOMMENDING THIS, but I’m only five days in, after a four-day-delay, bathing these dozen islands of rashes in a selection of Young Living’s Essential oils.

I’ve had two straight nights of restful sleep without pain spasms, the blisters are drying up and their encircling red patches have disappeared. Rash pain is mild. I could wear my skirt over my leg today without pain chills from its touch, though I prefer it off that leg. I’m still experiencing some back pain, the occasional headache, chills, and stomach aches–all symptomatic.

I am SO-O-O grateful it’s only on one leg. Countless times, I’ve thought of Job who suffered with boils over his entire body! After the emotional stress of all his servants, livestock, and family being killed and his home destroyed, I wonder if the boils were shingles. He had them from the top of his head to the soles of his feet! I can’t imagine the pain.

I’ll have an update next week.

Have you any experience with shingles?

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Daydreaming-A Poem

Healing is on its way;
Maybe, in one more day.

But while you wait
Make no mistake,

Daydreams can come true.
Let me tell you what to do:

With smiling face,
Go to your happy place.

Close your eyes and make a wish.
Did you go somewhere to fish?

Did you consume your favorite fare
Or splurge at a spa for your body’s care?

Did you try something you’ve dreamed about
Or enjoy a leisure day around the house?

The alternative is to continue to live on with their lives, walking the same path as cialis uk http://deeprootsmag.org/2016/11/14/seeking-a-meaningful-acquaintance-with-schubert/ a regular model in the terms of finding an agency, building a portfolio and comp card.

Until you realize the hope in your heart,
Daydreams are the place to start.

Make it a good one that seems out of reach,
Like lolling around on a distant beach.

A mountain cabin nestled in pristine snow
Could also be the place to go.

Mentally go there to quell your stress
Or to run away and be by yourself.

Your mind should be a healing balm of peace.
Don’t waste its power to disgruntle disease.

(Go here for daydreaming examples–  http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/09/14/soul-soaring-n…elchair-needed/)

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Mary, Did You Know?

For my Christmas article, I want to share my favorite Christmas song, “Mary Did You Know,” by Michael English https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oiw7hS4pzg .

I couldn’t say it better.

MERRY CHRISTMAS all!

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Would one day walk on water

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Would save our sons and daughters
Did you know
That your baby boy
Has come to make you new
This Child that you delivered
Will soon deliver you

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will give sight to the blind man

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Would calm a storm by His hand
Did you know
That your baby boy
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Has walked where angels trod
And when you kiss your little baby
You’ve kissed the face of God
Oh Mary did you know

Mary did you know
The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will one day rule the nations
Did you know
That your baby boy
Was Heaven’s perfect Lamb
And the sleeping child you’re holding
Is the great I AM
Oh Mary

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Blue Bird Days

For several years after embarking on my chariot (wheelchair) ride, I experienced a brooding sadness. No one knew about it, only me. After the second year, I pinpointed it to occur for a couple of months in the fall. It dissipated as subtly as it appeared.

In the third and final year, I realized it was a mild depression. This sadness resulted from my association with the month of my SCI, September, and the loss of participating in favorite fall activities and exhilarating winter sports. This realization began my resurrection.

I had already grieved the death of sojourning the remainder of my life via feet (although I do believe in miracles). Now, it was time to bury old dreams and resurrect new hopes.

I leased an apartment in a newly completed complex. I recall the prediction of a possible evening snow. With the late-night news came the announcement that, indeed, it was snowing.

I threw on a shawl, wheeled out to the sidewalk, and laid my head back as silent snowflakes sifted softly onto my face. I lingered there for the longest, drinking in the peaceful beauty, and praising God, out loud.

Yes, I remember wondering if my neighbors thought I was crazy; but my joy trumped worrying about what they thought. I missed the snow. Just because I couldn’t ski or cross country in it, didn’t lessen my delight. I was in heaven. (A “crippling” half-inch accumulation of snow caused all schools to be closed the next day. What?)

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In recognizing my sadness, I could open the mental windows for fresh ideas to circulate. My desire to do something about it, to find happiness in other ways, was the door to my freedom. Choosing to make the emotional change adjusting to disability, put me on my healing path.

My first book, Views From My Chariot: A Wheelchair Oddity http://booklocker.com/books/6235.html , is a beginner course for you to recognize fresh ideas that will revive your hopes for a promising future after disability, resuscitate mental clarity for strength to push forward, and encourage you to open the door to the productive, fulfilling future that awaits you. It’s your choice.

Still, snow is rare in Alabama, but that doesn’t limit my experiencing it. Warren Miller Entertainment provides me vicarious thrills “catchin’ air” around the world. Mostly, they film heli-skiing and backcountry skiing, WAY beyond my expertise. But this way, everyday is a blue bird day on champagne powder for me!

“On your left!”

SWUSH!

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Dear Caregiver,

If you’re the lone caregiver for a loved one disabled from injury, disease, or illness, exhaustion can needlessly add to your stress. Aside from grieving the loss of the person you once knew, the future you hoped to share together as changed significantly.

Maybe you were sports enthusiasts, movie-goers, appreciators of the arts, or dedicated game-players. Now that you can’t easily go to an athletic event, the theater, museum, concert, or continue as club members, is there something You CAN substitute for it? And, would you consider offerring your loved one the opportunity to experience it with another? For instance:

Once-in-a-blue-moon, anticipate an IMAX ‘excellent’ adventure.

PBS performances, high school, and/or college drama departments are options for plays, operas, even concerts. Most schools and amphitheaters are accessible these days. I’ve found that students, as well as faculty, from the university in my town are open to performing in homes. A friend presented me with the gift of an ensemble singing Christmas carols to their own instrumentation. As well, poetry recitation, storytelling, dancing, playing instruments, karaoke, drawing, or painting are sensory experiences to share together.

Take a virtual museum tour or try this: My “Soul Soaring-No Wheelchair Needed” article on 09/14/2012  http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/09/14/soul-soaring-n…elchair-needed/

Concerning that serpent of guilt, its motive is to isolate and depress. Finding a network of support to assist your responsibilities is a mandatory life-line.

http://apparalyzed.com/disability-directory/disability-forums-chat/ has a forum specifically for spouses and parents caring for family members of SCI, in addition to information on health issues, technology and assistive technology, sports, travel, research/cure/treatment news, and much more for your loved one to connect with. It’s an active, informative, stimulating site.

Barry J. Jacobs’ book, The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers, is a soothing balm for caregivers. It is based on caring for an aging parent; yuou can learn what he has gleaned from his own personal experience, as well, as a clinical psychologist and family therapist.  http://www.emotionalsurvivalguide.com/book.htm

Just as important as reaching out for support, you must take care of yourself.

After my release from five months in SCI rehab, I lived with my sister and brother-in-law for about three or four months before leasing an apartment and going back to work. During that time, our church organized a daily schedule to relieve my, then pregnant, sister.

On a two-week rotation, one day every-other-week, a new friend picked me up around 11:30 am to carry me to her home for lunch. Back then, most husbands came home for lunch. The couple, their young children included, shared their meal with me. Dad went back to work, children took a nap, and we visited until nap was over. Normally, I was home by 4:00 pm.

It was the perfect opportunity for me to learn to adapt in different environments, build confidence in my abilities, and to make new friends.
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Not sharing your care-giving can pose a dilemma. When you have cared so attentively that your loved one wants ONLY you to assist and care for them, how can you find the necessary respite? It’s a ‘Catch-22’ situation. I’ve been on both sides.

On one hand, you were there when they were admitted into the hospital, during rehabilitation, and first came home. You know best how-to.

You doubt another knows what is best for them or will care for them as you do. You fear the repercussion between you and your loved one if you seek outside help. You may feel guilty, and you fear what others may think, if you do.

You are sacrificing and compromising your mental and physical health for theirs.

On the other hand, your loved one knows you know how-to. He/she feels comfortable with you and feels confident in your hands. Adjusting to another person will be unfamiliar and they will have to sacrifice their preferences. They fear the unknown.

For your loved one’s full adjustment to his/her situation, and turning that corner toward independence, he/she must be allowed other’s help. It’s interesting that when caught between the ‘rock-and-a-hard-place’ their wheels of avoidance figure out ‘how-to’ for themselves.

When we sulk at the suggestion of assistance from friends, other family members, or hired help, you feel resentment. When we threaten withholding our love or giving up, you feel anger. When we threaten to harm ourselves, you feel guilt and hopelessness.

Allow us these confusing emotions; only don’t take them personally. It isn’t really about you unless you fear speaking truth. If fear isn’t faced, it will be the bully pushing us around.

Love yourself enough to Seek support, Assistance, and You-time to quell the negative emotions you try to hide inside. Notice the acronym, SAY. Saying it out loud–straight-up– is the first step toward a viable solution to living joyfully and at peace with each other.

YOU ARE INVALUABLE; not just to your loved ones.

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Spontaneity

According to me, one of the misfortunes of living with a disability is the loss of spontaneity. I miss impromptu trysts with friends for a midday coffee, catching a matinee at the last minute, foot-scorching sands on the beach while beach towel sunbathing, walking barefoot in the rain….But recently, I felt overindulged at a friend’s “throw her own” birthday party.

She invited an estimated seventy friends for a special luncheon at her country club. The speaker was Dorothy McDaniels of Dorothy McDaniel’s Flower Market fame in Homewood, Alabama. (She has even made arrangements for Margaret Thatcher!) She demonstrated techniques of a dozen different floral arrangements using red roses and green roses (I didn’t know that there were green roses.), green hydrangeas, purple irises, hot pink lilies, yellow this and thats, and white everythings; I love the purity and simplicity of white.

My rose after a couple days’ bloom

The table settings were breathtaking. At each place setting was a single rose tied with bows of purple organza and spring green satin. Every rose was a different type and a different color. (This was my rose after a couple-of-days’ bloom.) The centerpieces were low and glorious with light and hot pinks, purples and periwinkles, orange and yellow and green. SEE! And, the meal was as colorful and tasty: Spring greens salad sprinkled with sliced strawberries, wild mushroom crepes with Béchamel (a rich, creamy white sauce) over a rice pilaf, and rainbow sherbet with a Pirouette (rolled cookie) served in a long stem wine glass. Yum!  This is me wearing my Asian tree Fascinator, after drinking my adrenalin (coffee).

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Outings have been rare lately, although I’ll be out promoting my book, Views From My Chariot: A Wheelchair Oddity, in the upcoming months!

Although, I believe this is my temporary home, I make the best of living with my disability. I look forward to traveling the universe beholding Reality, whole and healed, enjoying Real spontaneity.