Change/Adjustment after disability – Conversations with Cynthia

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015

LAL: Life Alert Lessons

You want the good news or the bad news first? Okay, the good news is: reaching my senior year-s (not as a high school “senior;” but a 67-year-old “senior!”), and living in their cumulative confidence and wisdom.

The bad news: everyone’s concern that “I fall-l-l-l and can’t get up.”

Alright! I fell. (Here’s the 911 if you missed the event http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2015/06/10/pain-is-relative-ly-painful/ )

Enter LIFE ALERT! Dun-dun-dun…you know there’s a catch: my life “alert” pendant has a-leer-ing (malicious) intent. It’s sneaky and fickle.

Why is it so-o-o hard to press the activation disk yet, so-o-o simple to accidentally “activate it?! The first time I unknowingly hit it was while North Hope and I were making muffins. I was chopping nuts on the chopping board in my lap when a disembodied voice rose from the base unit. Wide-eyed, we ran to the unit to reassure ADT (my home security) that it was an accident—NOT a fall!

The second time was while putting plates in my lap. (I know. I know. It’s better to be safe than sorry, but I’m sorry!) This last one is, still, only partially solved.

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I heard a fire engine, and wheeled to my front window to see which neighbor’s house it stopped in front of…to watch it stop at mine. Reality hit when the driver looked through my picture window at me looking at him. Embarrassed reckoning came as I met the three medics IN my kitchen…after they unlocked the back door (with my hidden key), making the call to ADT: “She’s fine. It’s a false alarm.”

After repeated apologies, the medics left.

Trying to solve the riddle, I mentally flipped through possible scenarios of the 10-15 minutes prior to hearing the fire truck. I remembered, while in the bathroom, thinking I heard a voice, twice. I stopped to listen, twice. I wondered if the TV had been turned on by a weird frequency: an 18-wheeler on McFarland Boulevard; the sanitation truck or school bus breaks?

Then, VOILÁ! It must have been while the commode was flushing that the “voice” was inquiring as to my “alert.” Still, I have no idea how I hit my pendant. The wheels on the bus go round and round….using past experience and common logic, doesn’t always fill in the blanks.

Seriously though, it does provide security to all, particularly loved ones—whose insistence only costs YOU around $30 a month for THEIR peace of mind.

July 4, 2014

Independence Day

God bless America and those who have sacrificed for our freedom!

If you know anyone suffering from PTSD, Gary Young, founder of Young Living Essential Oils, has formulated the “Freedom Sleep and Freedom Release Collection” to soothe the mind and help release emotional trauma. Let’s help to bring them back to freedom.

The Freedom Collection Bundle, #9869 for $299, will be available SOON at https://www.youngliving.org/2BeWhole Please contact me with questions or interest in natural health and wholeness at Cynthia.white@ah-haventures.com

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With twenty tragic suicides daily, we need to help our Heros. Life IS worth it!

I pray you have a safe, blessed day of independence. It’s been bought at a great price.

July 19, 2013November 3, 2013

Satisfied-In Spite of Disability-Still

Okay. I’m feeling proud and want to toot my own horn. It’s been over a year since I began my blog/website dedicated to SCI, one of the most fulfilling of my adventures, and surprisingly cathartic.

I scrolled down memory lane of that novice writer and after reading the first few posts thought, “Darn, that was good!” So today, I’m reposting my first article from April 22, 2012, in case you missed it.

There are a myriad of things from which we can find peace and satisfaction. Living with a disability, illness, or disease does not prevent us from experiencing joy and happiness either. The heart attitude of ingratitude does that. One of the most important ways in finding peace AND satisfaction is assuring that our friends and loved ones know we love and appreciate them. I know mine do because I show them by how I treat them, and because I tell them every day.

I believe Jewel’s song, “Satisfied,” reveals an anointed insight into our heart’s deepest desire—to love and to be loved, despite its redemptive value. “Satisfied” encourages us to not be timid, afraid of, or hold back words of love, especially important for us with disabilities (we’re physically limited in the many other ways of demonstrating affection). She expresses that the sorrow of regret is worse than any fear of rejection. (“Google” it and give it a listen.)

Growing up, I don’t remember my parents ever telling me that they loved me. It wasn’t until my late twenties or early thirties that I began telling them that I loved them. (I was a late bloomer in learning to express my emotions.) Talk about awkward—very for me, but more so for them.

My intent was to make sure they knew I loved them, not to change their behavior; nor to hear them tell me. Although they did in time, in the beginning there were nervous laughs, bowed head “uh-hums,” and “Okay, then…” at our good-byes.

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I could have lived my life without the expression of those three words, by me or from my parents. And, in a futile attempt to justify myself, I could have pointed my finger at them to divert attention away from my failing. But because of my disability, my eyes were opened to see the need in myself, my heart received a blessing.

How often are we found guilty of putting our best foot forward for mere acquaintances, church members, fellow employees, and our bosses, but are rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful to members of our own families? Through my disability, I have realized how much I need others, especially my family. If I don’t tell them today how very special they are to me, I may not have another chance. I don’t want to live with that regret.

Every one of us drew the short straw for, at least, one admirable character quality. If you are clueless as to what one of your shortcomings might be, but truly want to be a better you, try this: Ask your closest friend to help. First, to tell you what quality they love the most about you; second, the most annoying. You will be blessed hearing what endears you to them and, in time, you will be a blessing to them by changing that character flaw.

Don’t expect yourself, or anyone else who may join in on this satisfaction search, to instantly change by just a twitch of the nose. Baby steps are slow, and there will be fall downs.

Get a good brush.

October 5, 2012November 12, 2013

Extraverbalism

One intention for my blog articles is to stimulate thought; not just for the disabled, but for the able-bodied as well. Whether it tweaks a fundamental change in thinking, sparks a revelatory “aha moment,” or brings a view-enlarging paradigm shift, I want you, my readers, not only to be satisfied, but also to be challenged to be the best you.

Reading for information’s sake is a great learning tool, but self-examination and introspective questions result in self-enlightenment and personal growth.

Something Diane Sawyer said made me reconsider my equation for learning. If I’m not mistaken, it was a question asked of her by her father one afternoon after school. It was: “What questions did you ask today?” not, “What did you learn today?” though a good, necessary question.

We can deduce that that provocative question shifted her perspective, propelling her to become the renowned investigative correspondent/anchor she is today.

I was painfully shy in my younger years, and resembled the age-old adage, “Children should be seen, not heard.” It took years, and then some, to realize the self-centeredness of my shyness before I could perform as an extrovert. I had to learn how to carry-off the extrovert personality while having the temperament of an introvert. I learned how-to through required reading for a counseling course.

Most clients, and friends, come to therapy to “talk through” whatever they need help and resolution with. You want to draw them out with questions.

You also need to be a skilled listener; not only to what is said, but also to what isn’t said, in order to ask the poignant questions. I began using these methods with friends, colleagues, and new acquaintances to learn more about them, and to practice my extraverbalism.

Through inquiry, you can learn as well as teach. With the right line of questioning, a question can answer itself for the person being asked the question, an aha moment for them.

For instance: Someone has been burning your ears with insults, complaints, and criticism of a person they know. Ask: “Are you angry with so-in-so?”

In that instant, their ragings will boomerang back in their consciousness, registering their anger. Whether motivated by jealousy or envy, they’re mad about it.

You can also learn through intuitive translation.

Body language validates the truth, or exposes the untruth, of the spoken word. For example: Someone walks up to you, introduces themselves, shakes your hand with, “So nice to meet you.” then backs away.
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I don’t think so! If they were glad to meet you, they would remain within a comfortable space to carry on a conversation. If not, they may have issues with their own personal space.

You might then ask, “Are you uncomfortable?” The question lets them know you see them and understand. Even if they deny it, the question will provoke thought.

The more questions I ask, the more interested I become. The more interested I become, the more I learn. Amidst the conversation, the other party becomes the center of attention and leaves thinking I was a great conversationalist.Truth be told, we like hearing ourselves talk.

The juxtaposition of becoming an inquiring extraverbalist while being an introvert did not belittle who I was. It was not a character compromise. It made me a better me.

What changes have been incubating in you?

Are you ready?

Do it!

Become the best you. No one else can. http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html.