LAL: Life Alert Lessons

You want the good news or the bad news first? Okay, the good news is: reaching my senior year-s (not as a high school “senior;” but a 67-year-old “senior!”), and living in their cumulative confidence and wisdom.

The bad news: everyone’s concern that “I fall-l-l-l and can’t get up.”

Alright! I fell. (Here’s the 911 if you missed the event http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2015/06/10/pain-is-relative-ly-painful/ )

Enter LIFE ALERT! Dun-dun-dun…you know there’s a catch: my life “alert” pendant has a-leer-ing (malicious) intent. It’s sneaky and fickle.

Why is it so-o-o hard to press the activation disk yet, so-o-o simple to accidentally “activate it?!confused look The first time I unknowingly hit it was while North Hope and I were making muffins. I was chopping nuts on the chopping board in my lap when a disembodied voice rose from the base unit. Wide-eyed, we ran to the unit to reassure ADT (my home security) that it was an accident—NOT a fall!

The second time was while putting plates in my lap. (I know. I know. It’s better to be safe than sorry, but I’m sorry!) This last one is, still, only partially solved.

I heard a fire engine, and wheeled to my front window to see which neighbor’s house it stopped in front of…to watch it stop at mine. Reality hit when the driver looked through my picture window at me looking at him. Embarrassed reckoning came as I met the three medics IN my kitchen…after they unlocked the back door (with my hidden key), making the call to ADT: “She’s fine. It’s a false alarm.”

After repeated apologies, the medics left.

Trying to solve the riddle, I mentally flipped through possible scenarios of the 10-15 minutes prior to hearing the fire truck. I remembered, while in the bathroom, thinking I heard a voice, twice. I stopped to listen, twice. I wondered if the TV had been turned on by a weird frequency: an 18-wheeler on McFarland Boulevard; the sanitation truck or school bus breaks?

Then, VOILÁ! It must have been while the commode was flushing that the “voice” was inquiring as to my “alert.” Still, I have no idea how I hit my pendant. The wheels on the bus go round and round….using past experience and common logic, doesn’t always fill in the blanks.

Seriously though, it does provide security to all, particularly loved ones—whose insistence only costs YOU around $30 a month for THEIR peace of mind.

4 thoughts on “LAL: Life Alert Lessons

  1. Your life is never boring, is it Cyndy? Even though your blogs are always funny, you make the most simple events intriguing. Love you.

  2. Cynthia, i am turning (ahem) or really, have already arrived at that point. Three years ago, coping with my disability meant using wraps, splints and crutches on those bad days. On fairly good -good days, i could move around in my home okay. Then stage 3 Cancer hit. I got the diagnosis the same day i learned i needed a knee replacement. Got Cancer Treatment, even PT and pain blocks for the knee. Except now, i use braces and crutches a whole lot more. If i could have an insertable iPhone chip, i would do it in a heartbeat. I carry it everywhere, but realize that the one time i forget it or a crutch will be a day i regret. Thanks for the props and info about your device. Love your page quote, btw!

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