Is it better, more admirable, to be a social butterfly than a wallflower, an extrovert than an introvert?
There seems to be more written in poetry, novels, and screenplays of the jovial, talkative, “life of the party” personalities, than the “socially maladjusted” wallflowers; but what about the myriad between.
Fact or fiction? Is the life–of–the–party better adjusted than the quiet, reserved wallflower? Let’s see…
First, we know that shyness is as self-centered as ego-mania. Each is on the self-esteem continuum, only at opposite, extreme ends.
The shy’s response at feeling “less than” is to hide, and pull inward. The ego-maniac puffs up to appear greater than his inner feelings of insufficiency.
But, wait! We humans are way more complex than a one-dimensional label of introvert or extravert.
From the earliest times, physicians and philosophers used their understanding of the four humors (bodily fluids), “the four temperaments,” to treat diseases and understand people’s individual differences. Although each person is a mixture of temperaments, there’s usually one dominating.
Succinctly, Tim LaHaye’s book, Spirit Controlled Temperament, discusses the passive phlegmatic; the fickle, outgoing sanguine; the gloomy melancholic; and the assertive, fiery choleric. (He has 2 others on temperaments: Transforming Your Temperament and Transformed Temperaments)
And, Carol Tuttle writes about the four energy/personality types in It’s Just My Nature and The Child Whisperer.
We who are more introverted know that we’re comfortable in our solitude. But, are we best remaining in our solitude? (Here’s one of my first articles about such. http://conversationswithcynthia.com/2012/09/28/my-pearl/ )
I know of many espousing introverts who are proof that out of their solitude came wisdom, and strength, for future change, teaching, art, music, books, and inventions. We would have been robbed of their/your contributions, deprived of your inspirations, and may have missed a life-altering epiphany had you not turned inward and away, for a time!
I too prefer my solitude, and have always been a loner. But, I was a social misanthrope until I learned the purpose of my life: people. Isn’t it ironic?
There’s a coalition of (solitary) contemplative thinkers, like the above, to help us recognize the treasures within each of us. As author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts, Susan Cain admonishes: “let us come back from the wilderness to share our revelations.” The world needs your insights!
What if you’re in a wheelchair, walk with a limp, speak with a stammer or lisp, have a weird laugh, eyes of different colors, lots of freckles, carrot red hair, or as gorgeous as Johnny Depp?
How you appear isn’t who you are. So, what if you’re a little weird? What if you’re vanilla?
None of us are wholly one thing or another. We’re bits and pieces, different shapes, different colors, with different expressions of individuality. Sometimes bringing peace, and at other times, exuding energy; but always a beautiful medley of uniqueness.
We’re a wonderful mélange of experiences, thoughts, and emotions sewn into a patchwork personality, fitting perfectly into the quilt, but never haphazardly! For…
You are “…fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalms 139:14
If you’d like a gentle nudge in the right direction TO BE THE BEST YOU, you can order my book here http://booklocker.com/books/6811.html or at Amazon.
For a deeper understanding of your physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional self, invest in my January 3-March 14th “Journey to Wholeness” series.